


slide show

by Spring_Emerald



Series: it's only words [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Captain Squad shenanigans, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 04:56:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12291717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spring_Emerald/pseuds/Spring_Emerald
Summary: “Good afternoon, gentlemen. I’m here to present a pitch about ‘Why Sawamura Daichi,” he points at Daichi, who is sitting at the foot of the table, for emphasis, “should date me’”.





	slide show

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by anon at tumblr for the ship + word writing meme.  
> KuroDai + delivery
> 
> I was trying to come up with something different for the word since I got a similar request for another ship. Thankfully there’s already some inspiration! 
> 
> I would like to thank Gretta who sent [this](http://mashable.com/2017/08/16/tinder-biswas-profile-powerpoint-dating/) and of course headcanons ensued. I would also like to thank Ashley and Kythen for their notable contributions. You know what they are. :)
> 
> *I had to create a skin just to include the emoji and wow, you learn something new everyday, huh?* So I hope it appears just fine.

Kuroo waits for the rest to settle down on their seats, before he stands up from his own and clears his throat to get their attention.

“Thank you all, for coming here today,” he says, meeting the eyes of his fellow former captains and nodding his head perfunctorily at them in greeting; and _here_ being a rented conference room in the university library. “Please make yourselves comfortable, as I’m about to begin my presentation.”

He steps away from the table and stands a little to the left side of the whiteboard to give everyone else a clear view of the still blank presentation slide being projected. He takes a deep breath, and starts speaking again.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. I’m here to present a pitch about ‘Why Sawamura Daichi,” he points at Daichi, who is sitting at the foot of the table, for emphasis, “should date me’”.

He tips his head at Bokuto, who is seated on his right side and has the honor of moving the slides along, clicks on a key and the title appears on the screen on top of two pictures. The left one being a full-body aesthetic shot he’d taken as an OOTD, while the other, larger picture, is his high school yearbook photo that has a caption of “Ahh, youth~”

Daichi snorts from his seat, while Oikawa, seated on Kuroo’s left side says “This is incredibly desperate of you, Tetsu-chan,” with a slight shaking of his head. Ushijima and Moniwa, who’re sitting opposite each other, just remained silent, with the former looking all attentive and serious.

Kuroo gives a pointed look at Oikawa, before resuming. “Anyway, I will now present the attributes that I deem necessary for your decision.”

The slide the follows is titled ‘Pros of dating me’ and the first item on the outline says ‘cuddles’.

“First off, cuddles. Multiple reliable sources have said that you’re a creature of physical affection and that you love cuddles. I’m a creature made for cuddling, so what better way to spend our free time together by cuddling, right?

“Next,” the next bullet- ‘sometimes I’m funny’, appears. “Just think of it this way, I made you laugh, and I get to see how beautiful you are when you laugh. Win-win.

“I’m always kind –I think there’s no need for further explanation on that one. Next please,” the line ‘pets’ shows up. “Ahhh, yes. Pets. Contrary to what most people think and believe, I actually prefer dogs over cats, just like you very much do.”

Bokuto clicks on before he even gets a cue from Kuroo, but he didn’t seem to mind, as he readily discussed the next bullet point: ‘I’ll let you play with my hair’.

“See, I don’t let a lot of people touch my hair –since they don’t always reach it anyway- but if you date me, I’ll let you have exclusive rights to mess it up even more than it usually is. And I’ll guarantee that you’ll enjoy it,” he says, sending a wink at Daichi.

“Basically,” he continues, as the last bullet: ‘I have GREAT ASSets’ finally shows up. (Moniwa, bless him, chokes on something when the last line appeared. Oikawa on the other hand, just rolls his eyes.)

“I have a great ass- I mean, a lot of great _assets_ that you’ll surely come to love.”

Daichi almost laughs out loud at this, but managed to curb the urge, and instead bites his tongue to hold off even a small smile.

The succeeding slide shows up. “My other, special talents include: can eat a lot, without getting fat; can sleep again, after just waking up; can cram a project last minute before the deadline; and can make a one day allowance last for the whole week.

“Of course, should you agree to date me, I can promise you that I will never…” the motions for Bokuto to move to the next slide, while Daichi and Oikawa groan at the same time, clearly knowing where it is going. And not unexpectedly, the slide contains the header of ‘Will Never’, followed by two bullet points that says ‘gonna give you up’ and ‘gonna let you down’, then Bokuto clicks on a key once again and a considerably old picture of a foreign looking guy pinwheel-ed on the screen.

Bokuto snickers at the joke, while Ushijima, not completely getting it, just nods earnestly at what the slide says. Moniwa, on the other hand lets out a long suffering sigh.

“Lastly, I have included testimonials from friends to further convince you.”

The first testimonial came from Bokuto (who else) who occupied the whole slide with a message that says:

> “Kuroo Tetsurou? My bro? That’s (Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Eyes )(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Eyes )(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Eyes )(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Eyes )(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Eyes ) good shit go౦ԁ sHit(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand) thats (Heavy Check Mark ) some good(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand) shit right(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)th(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)ere(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand) right(Heavy Check Mark ) there(Heavy Check Mark )(Heavy Check Mark ) if i do ƽaү so my selｆ (Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points) i say so (Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points)thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ(Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points) (Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand) (Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand) (Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand) (Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points) (Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand) (Eyes )(Eyes )(Eyes )(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)(Ok Hand Sign ≊ Ok Hand)Good shit." 

The next one is a compilation of shorter ones, coming from different people.

> “You’re a pain in the ass, Kuroo-san” – Akaashi Keiji
> 
> “…I don’t know you.” – Kozume Kenma
> 
> “Get lost.” – Tsukishima Kei
> 
> “FwwaaaAAHHHH??! YOU’RE SO COOOOL, KUROO-SAN!! THAT BLOCK WAS SO…GWAAAAH!!!” – Hinata Shouyou
> 
> “Dude, you look so hot.” – Random guy in my mirror

“And that ends my presentation for today. Thank you very much!”

The last slide shows a picture of a baby with a smug face, complete with the word ‘Success’ on the top right of it.

The silence in the room was broken when Ushijima slowly claps his hands, very much like how one would after a good movie, or in their case, a presentation.

“That was a very commendable presentation, Kuroo-san,” he compliments rather seriously. They cannot tell if he’s being sarcastic or not, but Oikawa actually leans forward on the table and gives him a clear ‘Are you kidding me?’ look. “What the…”

He gapes at him for a few more seconds before he closes his mouth with a snap. “Well, whatever. Anyway, you’re done right? Right.” So Oikawa stands up without waiting for any reply, grabs his bag from the floor and says a quick goodbye to all of them, before he exits the room.

“Ah, Ushijima-kun!” Moniwa exclaims all of a sudden. “We need to meet with our groupmates in a few minutes. We have to leave now.” Ushijima nods at him, then at Kuroo and Daichi, before he stands up and heaves his bag on his shoulder, while Moniwa does the same with his backpack.

“Anyway, congratulations, Kuroo. And well, good luck, Sawamura,” Moniwa waves them goodbye then exits the room, with Ushijima behind him.

“Bokuto-san,” Daichi speaks for the first time. “Could you please leave us for a moment?” Bokuto looks at Kuroo, who only nods at him, then stands up, gets his bag and leaves the room, not without giving Kuroo a friendly tap on the shoulder.

Kuroo remains standing, while Daichi remains seated. He leans forward on the table with his elbows, folded his hands together and gives Kuroo a serious look that makes him nervous.

“You’ve made some compelling arguments, and the delivery was good,” Daichi says. Kuroo relaxes a little, releasing a breath he wasn’t aware he’s holding. “However,” Kuroo stiffens again at hearing this. “I’m not entirely convinced. I think I might need some…proof of those assets that you’ve mentioned.” Daichi ends his statement with a smirk.

It takes a while for Kuroo to understand what he means, but Daichi could pinpoint the exact moment that it did, because Kuroo’s eyes widened and the nervous look of it is replaced with a playful glint despite the light blush on his face.

“Well… I’m sure we can arrange something.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading!


End file.
